If your child is not responding to your directions, take a deep breath and try these 3 steps.
1. Notice the specific behaviors and wonder about her feelings. "I notice that all afternoon, when I ask you to do something, you have a hard time doing it. I wonder if you're feeling mad or sad about something.
2. Give her the chance to say how she feels or what she needs and empathize.
3. Then develop a choice you know you can stick to and that is reasonable for the situation.
The important thing is to keep your anger out of the interaction as much as you can, create reasonable directives, and avoid just telling her to "stop" or "behave". If you need to take a few seconds to calm down, let her know and do what you need to do to collect yourself.
For more specific parent coaching, visit www.plumdistrict.com through September 1st for a great deal on a parent coaching session or child/teen assessment. It's in the Marin district this week and East Bay district next week.
To learn more about me and how I work, visit www.creativejourneying.net.
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